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when i go home, i want to: [03 Jan 2004|04:47pm] sleep over at melanie and henry's watching tv until 3am wear all of melanie's clothes eat alot of good cheap sushi go to a club for once (i hear about these excursions all the time) hear henry giggling maniacally while using one of us as a bolster hug jill's head, bonnie's head, and nga's head.. everyone else is tall enough to get a regular hug read at least 3 books (hah!) walk around outside without a jacket on forget about chicago and school post comment

i've decided... [31 Dec 2003|01:15pm] crushes are parasitic. they make you sick and delirious, and aren't any good for you. but, they need nourishment to survive and when starved for attention and affection, wither away almost without a thought. what a relief. post comment

melanie, what have you done to me? [17 Dec 2003|03:19pm] [ mood | geeky ] here's a partial list of some bollywood movies i'd like to buy/watch: 1. mujhse dosti karoge! 2. pyaar to hona hi tha (french kiss, yah!) 3. khamoshi: the musical 4. company 5. pyaar kiya to darna kya 6. dil to pagal hai any recommendations? any i should stay far far away from? 1 comment|post comment

[17 Dec 2003|02:15pm] choose a band: the beta band are you male or female? she's the one describe yrself: inner meet me how do some people feel about you? smiling how do you feel about yrself? it's not too beautiful describe yr ex girlfriend/boyfriend: simple boy describe yr views on significant others & crushes: won (is the loneliest number) describe what you want to be: i know describe how you live: broke describe how you love: broken up a dingdong share a few words of wisdom: dance o'er the border post comment

days are long, nights even longer [26 Nov 2003|12:55pm] [ mood | mellow ] melanie is in town! yayyyyyyy! joanne will be here this afternoon! yayyyyyy! we're celebrating thanksgiving this year away from home and without the parents, who are spending it in seattle. i spent almost an hour last night trying to find a restaurant we could go to for dinner on thursday. who knew so many ppl don't spend it at home? after calling about a dozen places, i (finally!) found wave -- the restaurant in the w hotel. mixed reviews on the service, but everything else sounded good, especially the atmosphere. we'll see. after a very tasty dinner at las tablas (colombian), melanie introduced me to bollywood. a 3.5 hour introduction. ok ok. it was entertaining and the songs are catchy, albeit blatantly lip-synced. i was captivated enough that we finished the movie *after* i drove vincent home and got back at 1:45am. ^__^; the characters were a bit odd though, and i kept on wondering if indian audiences found the guys in the movies all that appealing. i couldn't get over the raj's hair -- and then i found out the movie was from 1995. ahhhhh. made perfect sense. when i spend money online, i feel less guilty about it. dunno why. but the past couple weeks, i've been on an entertainment kick. dvds: miller's crossing, taxi driver, josie & the pussycats (^o^), mulholland drive, happy tree friends vol.2, the meaning of life, two towers, finding nemo, castle of cagliostro. cds: outkast, black rebel motorcycle club. computer stuff: printer!!! very happy with my new canon i560. i have a nice set-up now: laptop, extra monitor, printer, tablet, and scanner. and they all fit on a small-ish desk comfortably. so if you're doing comparison shopping, go here: www.pricegrabber.com www.overstock.com www.pricewatch.com post comment

[04 Nov 2003|10:24pm] for our employee appreciation week, things to get: - dj shadow: diminishing returns - dj shadow: preemptive strike - belle and sebastian: dear catastrophe waitress - alice in wonderland: illustrated by ralph steadman i cannot go crazy this year. must not. 2 comments|post comment

[29 Oct 2003|08:06am] so the class from hell yesterday turned out to be not-so-bad. tension mounted, voices were raised, looks exchanged, but besides that, no outbursts, no accusations of manipulation or laziness. thank god. other nice things: our building handyman connected a few wires outside the apartment and now we have cable! i guess this might be bad news... i'll be watching cartoon network nonstop. saw travis at the riviera last night. crowd was good, mood was good, music was even better! they were pretty charming and looked like they were enjoying themselves too. went to the green mill (jazz club) afterwards. i don't listen to much jazz, but the guys they had playing there were GOOD. i loved the vibes, very relaxed but still intent on the music. midnight meal at original mitchell's turned out well. i've got half of my super hobo here for lunch. mmmmm. post comment

[27 Oct 2003|01:36pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | type type tippity type ] i realize i've never had a happy face as my mood. so just for the sake of seeing a cute beaming smiley, i'm going to totally lie and say i'm in a good mood. hah! with all my visitors lately, it barely feels like chicago here! ...except for the cold, all the leaves on the ground, and the lack of asians. whatever. it's been so nice with nga, jill, and teresa all here. a breath of san francisco -- relaxing, comforting. i can let a burp rip, make weird sexual innuendoes, and exchange frivolous banter. it's made me realize (plus, they asked) that i don't have any really close friends in chicago, at least none like the ones back home. maybe it's the shared experience and built up history that i'm dwelling on and missing. so far, they feel rather transitory. yes, i can imagine hanging out, calling, writing these people, but two, three years down the line? who knows! there's just some things i can't tell people, whether it's bc i have to hide it from someone else (damn gossip!), i know they won't receive it well, or simply that i'm not comfortable confiding in them. i guess the thing is at home, i have a group of friends who know each other and can get along fine. here, everyone's from different spheres and they just wouldn't mix. ____________________ friendster is fun. i've become addicted. but it's SO SLOW! ARGH! ____________________ i have tons to do for my animation class tomorrow. because of my procrasintation, i've had to leave jill and teresa mostly on their own during their trip here, which i feel horribly about, but yes, they can take care of themselves and have fun, like nga did. we've been able to eat out quite a bit (artopolis, matsuya's, the bongo room), but i think after tomorrow's class from HELL, i'll be able to wind down more and enjoy at least one night partying with these girls. also because of my procrastination, i've lost the respect and faith of my classmates, and especially laura. they are all mad at me, disappointed, wary, annoyed... all those bad adjectives, insert here: ___________. i emailed everyone an apology and supplied no excuses since i had none. but man, i really need to stop my slacker ways. i've been saying that i want something bad to happen to me (what, to feel like a victim? ugh) and now something has, but it's all my fault and it doesn't feel good. so stupid since i could've prevented it. post comment

how does this happen? [14 Oct 2003|12:39am] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | dj krush - zen approach ] so let me break down what i need to get done: 1. 2 3D models of one "good cell" and one "bad cell" 2. animation of an ear syringe working 3. 9-10 illustrations of rhinoplasty procedures 4. study for a pathophys test on thursday 5. literature review for my fucking master's project 6. work tomorrow night, work all day on wednesday 7. grocery shopping and laundry before nga gets here on wed night. i'm already giving up on the animation of a syringe. of everything, that can wait. of course, so can laundry and shopping, but since it's due tomorrow morning, there's not a chance in hell i'll finish it. one super simple thing i finished (well, I'M done with it anyway, sick of it, really it took too long): www.deadelectric.com. i'm paranoid. i don't want them to be able to track anything back to my lj. i let them know i had one, and the reaction i got: "oOHhh....." accompanied by shaking of the head. T_T* post comment

my cold is fascinating [01 Oct 2003|03:04pm] my gross cough is back. and VERY early this year. every 10 minutes or so, i go through these body-racking coughs that project from my covered mouth, out the door, and down the hallway. they're very productive and they definitely sound that way too. the most disgusting part is when the phlegm sticks in your throat and you try to talk to someone but all they can hear is that guck sticking to your vocal cords and bubbling around. i think i've gotten the cough-swallow routine down to an art. instead of blowing my nose, i sniiiiiiiffff, let it trickle down my throat from the sinuses into my bronchii. when they get sufficiently irritated (or clogged), my diaphragm gets all upset, my lungs try to squeeze all the mucus out, and i HACK HACK COUGHHhhh eck. a ball of slimy green hits my pharynx, and instead of entering my mouth to get spat out, it just continues back down, jumping over the epiglottis to get to the esophagus, eventually getting digested in my stomach. that's the way i visualize it, anyway. 1 comment|post comment

[25 Sep 2003|01:49pm] since i haven't been able to reach you melanie, here's the rundown (call me whenever you like for even more details: at H&M i bought: - two pairs of cords, one black, one beige w/striped band - one off-the-shoulder tank that i'll prolly wear incorrectly - one blue bonnie-ish tank with a rhinestone butterfly decal at bottom corner - blk/red striped button down shirt - one shirt w/red and red-orange horizontal stripes - (at urban) pair of pointy black flats even though it was super crowded inside, the lines weren't that bad. music could've been better (c'mon, a radio station?!) and it seemed department store-ish for the decor. mannequins kept on freaking me out though. their hair was better than most shoppers there! i'm going to the other H&M in the suburbs this weekend. hopefully, i won't be spending TOO much, but we'll see.... the tattoo: i went with my friend akhila so she could get her annual birthday tattoo, and ended up getting one too. mostly bc the opportunity arose and i had decided to get another way back in may. - on the top of my right foot - japanese wave crest, circular in shape - it's well into the scabby and itchy stage now - the little prince will have to wait 4 comments|post comment

sunday afternoon lethargy [21 Sep 2003|05:45pm] [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | mojave 3 - where is the love ] been listening to all sorts of mellow country music via laura. introduced her to the japancakes and mojave 3 -- not quite sure if you really classify them as country, but all i know is, when i hear gillian welch & etc., all i want to do is curl up in my bed and stare out a window contemplating the world. i've found a research topic (not really research, more of a project): six nose illustrations for an online rhinoplasty training tool for a big-time plastic surgeon at uic. all i'm doing is updating the old pictures they use as the base in photoshop, so i really need to talk to the dean of our college about how to turn it into a master's project. it probably would've been infinitely more satisfying to come up with my own idea, but i was getting desperate and losing time. eh. my mind's all fuzzy. partied too much this week -- it was akhila's bday on thursday and we started celebrating on monday. so monday, thursday, AND friday = extreme laziness the rest of the weekend. actually the past two weeks have been cycles of spending money against my better judgment: - books for "research" on synesthesia, my topic for graphic design - clothes from h&m... c'mon! it was opening weekend! how could i resist?? - dinner and lunch out at least four times - got a new tattoo (more on this later) - saw "lost in translation" and "once upon a time in mexico" - and plenty of random spending thrown in for good measure books i've finished lately: the princess bride - william golding (actually prefered the movie!) on the road - jack kerouac (will definitely read more) coraline - neil gaiman 1 comment|post comment

back in the saddle again. [03 Sep 2003|05:47pm] so, my summer break came and went without much ado. didn't get to explore new orleans too much bc the conference took up so much time. i was introduced to the wonders (and horrors) or the AMI. pretty stuffy environment -- made me feel like i was witnessing some kind of cult. i just don't dig these big ass organizations that seem so full of themselves.... could just be a little bitter since our school had absolutely no representation. i'm starting to understand why my professors avoided the event. SF was great, of course. weather was great, people were great, food was great, made new friends, got a good feel for where everyone's "at," and caught up with alot of kids i haven't seen in a long time. it was relaxing, lazy, and restful -- everything that really defines a vacation, yes. i didn't realize how much i missed everyone until i went back and hung out. felt so natural and unforced. it was nice just sitting together watching TV or leisurely window shopping. as melanie said, i know where i "really belong." school started last week, much to my disgruntlement. i was taking 17 credits but last night, i dropped surgical illustration and now i'm down to 13. what a load off. christine and john (who are teaching the course jointly) only sing-songed "you're going to be soooorry." so far, i'm not AT ALL. i still have graphic design, computer animation, reseatch methods, project research (still haven't picked a topic!), pathophysiology, 4 projects from the summer semester to wrap up, 20 hr/wk at my assistantship, 8-12 hr/wk at B&N, and the website for josh's band. deyam. the assistantship so far isn't too bad. the people i'm working with are nice (mostly quiet asian folk who don't speak english especially well), although i really haven't talked to them alot. dr. chishti is in the process of setting up his lab since moving here 3 weeks ago, so it's a big mess. and they're depending on me to get all the paperwork in order, as well as ordering new equipment and supplies, making sure all the computers are running smoothly, and then doing the graphics/presentations for the lab. i was only expecting that last bit as my primary duties, but it seems like at least for the first month or so, i'm more of an office manager! they picked the wrong person for this job. i kept on spacing out while they were explaining things to me and i could FEEL my mind clouding over. right now, i'm taking a break from catalog shopping for office supplies. i'm at C for "chairmats" and i have the rest of the alphabet to go before i'm done. fun stuff. last night, josh and his drummer steve came over to hammer out some details for the website. seems pretty straightforward. easy peasy. josh and i went for drinks at hawkeye's afterwards and ended up having about 5 pints each. yeah... not only was it enlightening, but i feel like i've made progress with him. don't know exactly what kind of progress, but i think we're better friends now. i'm not sure if i like his flamer posturing (unconscious, i think) but then i never noticed until he sat at the edge of my bed and crossed his legs! body language can change someone's level of attraction, i guess. post comment

[20 Jul 2003|08:03pm] [ mood | nervous ] [ music | magnetic fields - all my little words ] ... three years ago, i was in koh samui, thailand enjoying a cool breeze at the big buddha temple. today, i'm in chicago, suffering humidity, stuffiness, and of course, stress from everything that i've piled up on myself. in three days, i'll be in new orleans, letting off some much needed steam. only 72 more hours to go. 1 comment|post comment

a few things have transpired... [17 Jul 2003|02:34am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | yo la tengo - little eyes ] went for drinks with a co-worker i previously had a crush on. i think i now have the willpower to not let myself fall back into another fruitless crush. and the best part? i don't care! taking an 'incomplete' for my advanced illustration class. that gives me a reprieve for a total of 4 projects. (i've still got 8 more for other classes due in one week) scott was telling us two weeks ago that if we needed to finish stuff later it's A-OK with him. thank god for lenient professors. i really do feel amazingly lucky sometimes. flying back to SF in early august instead of driving. i'm kind of glad, bc if we drove i would've had only two weeks in SF. planning to book my flight tomorrow -- hopefully for august 4th, or maybe a couple days earlier if i can persuade my parents to spot me. bought an air conditioner, have yet to install it. kind of stupid of me bc for the next five weeks (and most likely the hottest of the summer), i'll barely be in the apartment. i got an assistantship!!! i'll be working for a new pharmacology lab in the molecular biology research building a short two blocks away from my apartment, 25-30 hr/wk. scanning slides, retouching them in photoshop, line illustrations and diagrams, and powerpoint presentations -- not exactly up my alley, but it's much closer than other assistantships available. the big plus: i'm getting all new equipment! new dell w/ a flat screen monitor, new high-res printer, new scanner... sounds like the works. i can't wait. don't know about the stipend yet, but at least my tuition waiver is guaranteed. ^__^ alright, back to my project for john. he was nice enough to give me a two day extension to finish up ONE illustration (instead of the two i planned on) for a 2 credit independent study. i'll definitely turn in something extra in the fall to make up. reading: how proust can change your life : alain de botton just finished: the curious incident of the dog in the night-time : mark haddon finished last week: stiff, the curious lives of human cadavers : mary roach, and fluke : christopher moore 1 comment|post comment

[11 Jul 2003|03:38pm] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | watching "fellowship of the ring" ] despite my best intentions, i keep on going out instead of staying home and working on the projects that should be my priority. tonight, i'm going to a club (vision) with aimee & co... didn't really feel like going b/c: 1) it's mostly trance 2) i didn't want to take off more work (and i didn't think i could find someone last minute to take my shift) 3) it'd be nice to save some money 4) 1 poster, 1 tri-fold pamphlet, 1 mode-of-action illustration, 1 colored line drawing, 1 regular line drawing, 1 interactive flash animation of a muscle group working, 1 surgical sketch, 3 drawings of surgical instruments, 1 research proposal, 1 editorial illustration, and 1 final advanced ill. project ALL DUE IN TWO WEEKS. crap. i definitely feel like the grasshopper that partied all summer instead of saving food and is screwed in the winter... but i won't have a little ant to take pity on me. watched pirates of the caribbean and 28 days later this week. the former made me want to go to disneyland and then watch all of johnny depp's movies again, and the latter made me think infected 'zombies' are going to jump through my window and start gnawing on me. both movies were happier than i expected. for some reason, i thought pirates would be all slick and be dark in a burton-esque way, but it was much more like the mood of the disneyland ride of the same name. another way i've been procrastinating? reading. finished middlesex, fluke by christopher moore, and now i'm almost done with stiff - the curious lives of human cadavers by mary roach. i highly recommend middlesex for everyone, and if you're in a morbid mood, try out stiff. there are parts that gross out even me. i'm on the chapter about medicinal cannibalism. making some chicken with roast potatoes and onions. the only problem with cooking these days is that the oven raises the temperature in our apartment when we REALLY don't want it to. especially with our lack of AC. ugh. post comment

now entering... procrasti-nation [01 Jul 2003|09:06am] [ mood | approaching depseration ] [ music | supergrass - can't get up ] i have my meeting with john at 3:30pm today. must show him the work i've done on my independent study for the last three weeks... which amounts to one very loose colored pencil sketch and several possible layouts for a poster and trifold pamphlet. so what am i doing right now, with six hours left until my deadline? burning cds, checking my horoscope, and fussing with my lj. i did pretty well waking up this morning. this time it only took me 1 hour to get out of bed, and so far, i've only spent 1 hour really fucking off. last couple weeks, i wouldn't start doing anything at all until after lunch. of course, the entire time, i was procrastinating. i like having the mornings to myself in my apartment. usually chris is asleep, getting home anywhere from 4-7am, and he doesn't normally wake up until past 1. but maybe the light in his room was too bright -- he's moved into the living room, right outside my door. and now i feel all inhibited, mostly b/c i don't want to wake him up. well, whatever. my real problem is getting motivated the night before. i always have good intentions, but they go awry... and more often than not, on mondays! i blame the $0.10 wings/ $5 pitchers night at hawkeye's. i got back relatively early last night, and was even feeling pretty creative... what happened? i took a shower, washed the dishes, watched late night tv, put one orbital in an ear, and then went to bed. ahhh, productive night. let's hope for a better morning! currently reading: middlesex : jeffrey eugenides 1 comment|post comment

[30 Jun 2003|02:57pm] [ mood | frustrated ] went to the gay pride parade in boystown yesterday. funny that i've never been to one in san francisco... but chicago's was definitely an experience. saw alot of queens, pretty boys, a couple dykes on bikes (none topless, disappointedly), and leather, chains, and tattoos everywhere i looked. first, we had to walk down halsted to get to akhila's brother's apartment. because of the barriers and a bottleneck, this turned into a cattle herding, with all of us spectators mooing our aggravation at being squished and squashed. i haven't been pressed up against so many nearly naked people without being at some bar or club ever. the most memorable float for me was the altoids one. so many hard bodies blatantly displaying their goods. granted, most of the floats were like that, but i especially liked the red speedoes and slicked back hair. after the parade, drinking at a fabulous apartment overlooking the street, and then shopping on belmont and clark (finally picked up some new earrings), i went home to loaf off for the rest of the evening. watched the godfather for the first time(!) and thoroughly enjoyed it. must move onto part 2 soon. post comment

harry potter madness [23 Jun 2003|03:04pm] [ mood | lethargic ] [ music | one monkey - gillian welch ] longest weekend in ages. worked the harry potter 'midnight madness' party on friday, which was aptly named. i got scared at cashwrap, seeing all those milling bodies staring, hearing high-pitched wails, and feeling the mounting anticipation and impatience as the clock drew closer to midnight -- when we could legally begin selling the book. half the time, i had visions of some mass hysteria or a mad stampede. but we were really very organized and it turned out well. the most embarassing part was when we counted down to midnight, and it actually excited me more than new year's did. our community relations manager said over the intercom. "cashiers.. are you READY??" at that moment, we had to raise our little box cutters and cry "YES!" and with cheers accompanying us from the crowd we opened boxes of harry potter and the order of the phoenix. we stayed open until 1:30 am, selling 501 copies. o_O i, of course, bought a copy that night, and i'm currently 100 pages from finishing - i can't seem to put it down. i like it alot, and that's all i'm saying about the book for now. sat and sun at work were pretty boring. i avoided my current flame for the most part, trying to affect disinterest... most unsuccessfully thanks to tim, who smoothly asked him what he thought of me -- out of the blue! to which he replied, 'uh oh.... why?' ugh. sat night we went out to northside in wicker park for casey's bday. akhila lent me a necklace, bra, and halter tank to wear instead of my shirt b/c everyone else was dressed up, and i looked like a boy. so then, according to a guy i met at the bar, i looked 'fabulous.' heheh. we got toasty quickly on tequila shots, and i ended up licking salt off casey's neck for one of mine. oh my. now i'm starting to feel the stress of school pretty badly. we have four weeks left (i can't believe four weeks have already passed!) and i'm lagging far far behind. with the weather this great who wants to be in school? 1 comment|post comment

books and more books [18 Jun 2003|04:08pm] before i forget... - life of pi : yann martel - the da vinci code : dan brown - crime and punishment : fyodor dostoevsky - the thief lord : cornelia funke - lost in a good book : jasper fforde - reefer madness : eric schlosser - devil in the white city : eric larson currently working on: the sexual life of catherine m. : catherine millet post comment

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